Praying For Humility

Richprayerard Rohr’s online meditations one week concluded with the daily prayer thought, “Humble me.”  I whispered this sentence with some trepidation.

Can I honestly ask for this?  It seems more natural to pray, ”Bless me and mine,” or to request peace or healing.

As one who now has lived almost 65 years, I am all too aware of what I am asking when I pray for humility.  Throughout my life it has been abundantly clear that I am most humbled in the lowest times.  My experiences of pain, loss, betrayal, and failure are what have made me humblest.  In these dark nights of the soul I have been driven to my knees, aware of my own insufficiency, when all I could do was cry out for God’s help in utter dependence and helplessness.

Doesn’t petitioning for humility mean inviting more pain, more anguish, more harsh lessons?  A frisson of fear slithers down my spine.

Then my heart reminds me how these incidents always end.  God comforts, forgives, heals, reassures, encourages.  Always, always.  When desperation proves I have come to the end of myself, it is God’s power, God’s provision, God’s sufficiency that then works the miracle.  When I am all too aware of my inadequacy, divine light shines through and blesses me, usually beyond anything I could have imagined.  God whispers, “Let go and let me.”

If crisis is the opportunity to know God better and trust God more, of what am I afraid?  If growth and bloom lie ahead of me, I will accept gladly the sacrifice of my ego-based desires and simply say, “Thy will be done.  If I can learn more of You, become closer to You, and be a better servant to a hurting world, then I can raise my head and shout with courageous joy, ‘Bring it on!  Humble me!  With You, God, I can take it.’ “

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Phil.4:13

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